Character Vs. Reputation

My husband & I were asked last December 17, 2011 to lecture in a group of young people pertaining to what's really important - your character or your reputation. Both are important, in my own point of view. Came December 23, solo-flight, I used the topic to discuss within a more larger group of Pastors' Kids. I even asked one of the oldest (he's older than me 10 years actually and already a minister handling a church in Bukidnon) if for him, what's more important - character or reputation? To which he readily replied - reputation.

Reputation is what matters to most of us. But, what does reputation means? According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, it is an opinion about one's entity, a result of social evaluation on a set of criteria, may be considered as a component of the identity as defined by others. Please take note of the words used - OPINION and EVALUATION. My husband defines reputation as what others think of you - may it be highly or the other way around. And We both have the same view.

Character I define is a result of your attitude, your inner you, what you think, what you feel and who you really are. Just like cartoon characters, Tom is known as the cat who sometimes befriends Jerry the mouse but frequently races after the latter because of Jerry's nuisance in his peaceful living. Make another story using Tom and he will not be recognized by the viewers. Just like with Snow White and any other famous kiddie and adult multimedia faves. They are all recognized because of their characters.

"If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself." Reputation then is the product.

And where does reputation come from? It is what others think of you after you have shown them your character. And there is a 'but'. We all know we cannot please everybody. There'd be standing ovation, there'd be people without no reaction at all and there'd be people who tend to look for flaws. It's normal and I mean natural. Remember the cliché. We cannot control what's inside other people's heads.

A person may have a bad character but has a good reputation. And a person too can have a good character but has a wicked reputation. Either way.

Hows and musts? When we live according to the will of God, stirred inside by the conviction of the Holy Spirit, living with a conscience, walking in the pathways of good - that'll be our character. Let our reputation be from our Lord. After all, it's Him whom we're living for. We may be marred and thoroughly stained in the eyes of the flesh, but in Heaven's eyes - we are the most precious.

Romans 1:10-17

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ…” To those who believe, would you? Neither would I.

“For it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes…” Jesus Christ is the center of the gospel.

The first four books of the New Testament talk focused on His birth, His growing up years, His ministry on earth and the betrayal, how He was persecuted, crucified and died and His resurrection which entitles Him as the one true God. Without Him being human, without Him on the cross, without His death – the repentance of man and redemption from sin would be impossible to achieve. Imagine how the Old Testament people offered sacrifices to God, how many days they must fast and the levels they ought to face before they can come near to the throne of God, before they can talk to Him and before they can confess of their sins! The atonement was Christ’s sacrificial body which lifted the hardest laws of God the Father.

“For the Jew first and also for the Greek.” Salvation is not just for a limited number or names of people and those elite cults and groups who claim they are the ones who could go to heaven. It is Biblical and the Word of God clearly states that SALVATION IS FOR EVERYONE WHO believes in CHRIST JESUS.” Warning: Alteration of God’s Words is one of the mistakes human is prohibited of doing. Let us not put God’s holy and sacred Words into our hands.

“For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith, as it is written, the just shall live by faith.” Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith as the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1. It is even impossible to please God without faith, Hebrews 11:6 for we come into His presence, we seek Him even we don’t see Him – that’s faith. Faith in God, the Son and the Holy Spirit amidst chaos and under all circumstances. Faith that in everything we give thanks for it His will (I Thessalonians 5:17) that after all this world’s sufferings, we have our greatest destination. And we will reach that wonderful place when we have the faith.

And I would be selfish if I would just keep this great truth to myself. This is not any new news to many. There are just minds and hearts that are very fickle to accept and understand the clear message of the gospel. The Bible is an open book, His Word, doctrines are made by man. Anything that man makes that is not in accordance with the Bible, is false.

Just For Today

I was in downtown this morning. The everyday lives of people on the streets, inside offices, banks, supermarkets and department stores went the usual ways. After going to my bank, I decided to go to my attended church in the city and join people in there for lunch. On my way on the streets of San Pedro and Washington I saw them. They were there last year and they're still there up to now. Sitting on the sidewalks. Others were lying still. Looking thin and hungry. With dirty clothes on. Barefooted. Holding grimed plastic cups. Begging for coins and food from passersby. At times I choose to ignore them but there'll be days I'd voluntarily search for a five-peso or ten-peso coin from my purse to drop into those empty containers they have.

Many times I'd pretend in my thoughts in which I were one of those who can live all night long on the streets, lying on tattered carton boxes and covering myself with messed-up plastic sacks. I'm just grateful to God and thankful to my parents that they had afforded to shelter me under a well-fixed roof surrounded by sturdy cemented walls, fed me well and even gave me things that weren't that necessary to live on. And as I am now on my own with a family, God is still so good blessing me with a husband who is responsible in making money to feed his wife, his daughter and to support the whole household. My praises to God.

I am not 'yet' a billionaire for me to gather all those people I just saw and give them home, work & food. They may have their own histories why they are there and why they are called beggars. As of this time, all I could offer to them are some coins, packs of biscuits and a prayer.

What Dengue Taught Me

Wala ako ka-ide-idea ano ang dengue. Just basic na it is caused by a dengue-carrier-mosquito bite. Ni sa isip ko I never dreamed na magkakadengue ako or sinuman sa pamilya ko. Until one day, I was in Bukidnon when my husband called me saying my daughter needs to be admitted dahil mababa platelet count nya. That instance I knew it's already dengue. That very same day I traveled back to Davao City. I was expecting to see my child having tubes and wires all over her arms, hands and feet and was also thinking that she can't afford to move her limbs.

As I entered the hospital's room I searched for my child's face, she's smiling yet her eyes were a bit weary. She's been watching the hospital's cable television and she's repeating all over the word "DORA". Then a male nurse said, "She has no dextrose? This is my first time to see a baby in this hospital diagnosed of dengue that has no IV inserted." As of that moment, Reese was given Pedialyte or ORS as her supplement.

That afternoon, my child's platelet count dropped to its lowest. Her doctor said if it'll reach the alarming number of count she will be forced to order for Reese to have dextrose. Texts, calls and visits from our families, relatives and friends flocked. Prayers, moral and even financial support were offered. But my feelings were at its worst, I was almost blaming my husband even our house helper. That time also, I and my brother in-law Ralph who's in Korea were exchanging news about his niece thru Chikka.com. I was on my final brink of disappointment and told him, "As of now I don't know what to feel." to which he said, "A mother's prayer for her children means a lot to God." As I was left alone inside the room with my sleeping daughter I took the chance to made a wee prayer with tears and a mother's love for her child to God. I told Him, "Lord, do not let this happen to us. Ako na lang, wag lang ang anak ko." Because the moment I heard what the doctor had said, the next word I had think about was 'death'.

After my silent cries to Him, I have felt that I am NOT the only one on bended knees in prayers for my child.I knew it then that the angels are with me along with the people in support. That evening, Reese's platelet count started to grow in numbers, then the following morning another improvement. It was our second day in the hospital because of dengue, the doctor already issued an order to discharge my daughter from the hospital but I requested for another one day extension saying I'd like to be sure. Ina ako, I need to be sigurista. For our third day, me, my husband and our daughter Reese gobbled a 12-inch pizza.

These are the things I realized while looking at my daughter's face who's asleep in her hospital bed:

1. Bad situations will get worse if you look for person/s to blame and if you're a fault-finder.

2. Do not let worries hinder your thoughts to think positive.

3. Relax during difficult times. Look on the brighter side.

4. Lift everything to God. He cares for you. He cares for those you care for.

5. Our God never sleeps. He never slumbers.

6. Prayer changes things. 

7. God favors those who trust and have faith in His promises.

Our female dog at home gave birth to a grey puppy with a heart-shaped white hairs on its back a day before my daughter was confined to the hospital. This morning I was thinking to name the puppy Dengue, just a  remembrance of what Dengue had made me realize in life. Hehe. Then, I came up to a name. I am not yet sure of the puppy's genitals. It may be a male or a female but I'll name it Immanuel. God is with us.

Tatlong Tinapay at Isang Bote ng Softdrinks (Three Pieces of Bread & a Bottle of 7-Up)

I was walking fast on the street of Ilustre going to Gaisano South Mall to do my groceries. An old man who’s looking timid and tired met me on my way and said,

“Day, tagai ko og dos palit nako og tinapay kay gigutom na kaayo ko.” (Please give me two pesos to buy bread because I’m so hungry.)

I looked at him. I was thinking I don’t have any loose change in my purse. I have two one thousand bills and a few hundreds. I darted away from him. But as I was nearing the entrance of the mall, I hurriedly ran back to find the old man. Gratefully, he walks slowly inch by inch so I was still able to get a hold of his arm. I said to him,

“Dali, nong palitan ta ka og tinapay.” (Come with me, sir I will buy you bread.)

I wanted to bring him to Minute Burger in front of where we were standing but I noticed he’s too tired already. Gladly there’s a bakeshop a few steps away. I ushered him inside, made him sit and ordered two big monay, one mammon topped with cheese and a 12oz. bottle of 7-Up. He then began to eat and sipped the cold liquid.

Mashfa: Taga asa diay ka, nong? Asa ka gapuyo? (Where do you live?)

Old Man: Sa Bucana sa may boulevard. (In Bucana near boulevard.)

Mashfa: Unsa imong pangalan? (What’s your name?)

Old Man: Rene. Rene Logroso.

Mashfa: Pila na imong edad? (How old are you?)

Old Man: 72.

Mashfa: Asa man imong mga anak? (Where are your children?)

Old Man: Wala ko’y mga anak. (I don’t have children.)

Mashfa: Asa imong asawa? (Where is your wife?)

Old Man: Wala man koy asawa. Tigulang ko ulitawo. (I don’t have a wife. I’m an old bachelor.)

Mashfa: Kung muuli ka sa inyuha kinsa imo kauban sa inyuhang balay? (Who’s with you at home?)

Old Man: Nakipuyo lang ko sa akuang amigo. (I’m staying at my friend’s house.)

Mashfa: Nag-unsa man ka dinhi sa gawas? Asa man diay ka gikan? (What are you doing here on the streets? Where have you been?)

Old Man: Gikan ko sa Bajada nagbisita sa akong ig-agaw. (I went to Bajada to visit my cousin.)

Mashfa: Naglakaw lang ka? (You walked from Bajada to here?)

Old Man: Oo. Exercise man ni, day. (Yes. It’s a form of my exercise.)

(I felt like smiling but I pinched myself not to).

Mashfa: Wala ka nangayo og plete sa imong ig-agaw pauli? (You didn’t ask money from your cousin for your fare going home?)

Old Man: Wala man to sila’y kwarta. (They don’t have money.)

As he was eating..

Old Man: Dili man nako ni mahurot tanan, day. Iuli nalang ni sa tindera. (I can’t eat all the bread you had bought, might as well return them to the saleslady.)

Mashfa: Sige lang, nong balunon nalang nimo. (It’s ok, sir. I’ll have them wrapped for you.)

When he was good to go, I handed him his bread in a plastic and told him I’ll have him ride the jeep going to where he lives, my last offer was declined and said he’d like to walk home since the sun is not visible during those hours.

“Salamat ani, day ha.” (Thank you for this.) Those were his last words to me before turning his back and started to go on his way.

I was relieved but still felt guilty why I hesitated to help the old man the moment he was asking for only two pesos wherein I could buy four to five loaves of bread in a week just for my afternoon snacks at home. 

I traced my steps back to the entrance of the mall and bought stuff for my ones at home. As I was searching for my wallet to pay the cashier for my purchases, I saw the receipt issued to me by the bakeshop where I bought snack for the old man. It was 48 PhP. I paid the mall 2, 000 PhP.

For the last two weeks of this January, this was my second time to be in a situation like this. Only with the first, I had let it pass. I wasn’t able to help the old man.

Lord, have your way in me. Make me a channel of Your never-ending blessing. I’ll always be of service.

PGCAG Leaders on the Verge

Hear ye! Hear ye! PGCAG won't be this much in number and won't be this big without our very own leaders pursuing through our vision and mission and having them in a big crowd all on their own in a secluded place to meet and gather among themselves and to be recharged again for the 2011's battle with the Lord. Seeing them with big smiles and looking at their photos makes me pray that one day I'll be treating them to a luxurious event they deserve. ^_^ (Help me pray.)


Take a look at their good shots taken at Hidden Paradise Mountain Resort, a 5.2-kilometer away from the highway of Brgy. Ilaya, San Fernando, Cebu last January 25-27, 2011 during the National Leadership Assembly a.k.a LAMI (Leadership and Managemnet Institute).

Big thanks to Rev. Remo for the photos. (Hehe. ",)

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

My Father of All Times

He is the reason why I was born. He is the reason why I'm here. He is the reason why I have a name this long. He is the reason why I know God. He is the reason why I had the courage again to start my life anew. He is the reason why my family is strong and is knitted together. He is the reason why I have this kind of sympathy for others.

My father, my biological father is Rev. Mahro G. Singcol. Born on January 15, 1960 in Carmen, Bohol, the youngest to a brood of five. When his father died, a pastor, her mother remarried, bore their stepfather two offspring but didn't survive life and died young. At an early age, due to his father's death, my Papa as what me and my siblings call him had learned to do hard works in order to eat three times a day and in order for him to go to school. They were living almost below the poverty line. Good thing their deceased father had left them a piece of land to which they planted coconut trees, fruit trees, bananas and crops and turned to be one of their source of income. When Papa finished his high school studies, he studied for a vocational course to have a certificate in sewing. Carpentry and farming also entailed his job when he was single. At the age of twenty something, he began setting his feet inside Mindanao Regional Bible College (formerly AGBIM), learned with the Lord, graduated with an honor, assisted pioneering pastors and later became the one planting churches, became ordained with the Assemblies of God, married, got kids, hosted churches, became one of first youngest District Superintendents of the entire PGCAG and up to now he's irreplaceable in his position. ^_^


I'll never forget the days when  my father will show me his 'tiger-look' whenever I act stupid in front of him. His voice would be like a roaring lion (same as my Mom at home) when he's angry and was there ready to spank me. He's moderately strict but very very stiff.  I feared him because of that. I never saw him cry (visible to us his children) but as  he prays, I heard his wails to God. As I grow up, got to another place to do my studies and work, got married and have kids and lives in a far away place from my childhood home, I miss my father a lot in every single day that passes by. He is more of a father to me. He's my father of faith. He's my friend. He's my counsel. My guide in spiritual aspects. My father at all times.


Believe it or not, I still can run to him whenever I feel sad, lonely & happy (kahit twenty four years old na ako, hehe). And he always welcomes me with loving arms, with his fatherly love that I'll never ever trade for anything in this world. He had thought me so much in life. How to be patient, generous, kind and how to show mercy like what Jesus did for all of us. I remember him saying that his angels are goodness and mercy. Even if he is the head of the Central Mindanao District Council of the Assemblies of God in Bukidnon, even if he finished a Masteral in APTS, even if he has credits with what he did for the glory of God - he remains humble. Our home is welcome to anybody who wants to visit. My parents had thought us to give in everything we can. Our dining table is always ready to serve food: dried fish, ginamos, vegies and if we can, could be chicken or pork. The rooms at the second level of our house are always open to anyone who is tired and needs rest.


Seeing almost all of the days my papa have been through with his pastoral work, I'd say he has a very strong stamina in fighting against the hard fireballs thrown to him. I never saw him backing up, instead, he rises above with dignity knowing that he is just doing his part, his work and what he thinks is right. HINDI SIYA NANGUNGUNSINTI NG TAO. He never delights in the misery of others. Even to those who betrayed him he still makes peace with them. Even to those who grits their teeth on his achievements he would still embrace them.


If given the chance to change my life and have the option to choose whom I'd want to be my father, I'd still choose him, my papa. Life will never be best for me at all without him as my father here on Earth.

The Art of A Servant

Since I was a kid we always have a helper or a student-worker at home who does the laundry, washes the dishes, cleans our house & all household chores a house helper is being expected to do. My mother is really an effective trainer so once a newbie enters our premises, in a week or so the maiden or the boy will at most learn how to do things inside the house in able not to annoy his/her boss (my Mom). Sometimes a bit longer depending on how the house helper would easily catch and digest what my Mom had taught them.

I came to think it was easy to have another mouth to feed at home and paying the person for doing the house chores which I neglect somehow because of my work. My first house helper only stayed with us for  a matter of 2-3 days. On her second day I spotted her crying so badly inside our once-rented room telling me she needs to get home because her hostile husband would bring her son back to Luzon if she'll not return to Bukidnon within that day. The second one still was from my province, a native somewhere. Had stayed with us for 1-2 months. I had voluntarily let her slip away, knowing she got some of my stuff from my closet, some kilos of rice from my big pail storage, some coffee and powdered juice sachets (the 3-in-1 coffee mix! She has a taste!) and some things I didn't bother to audit. The third one, which is now presently with us at home came from my parent's house, worked in there for almost 2 years, transferred to another place to have another employer and environment, went back again to my parents for another few months, stopped to rest from serving homes and is now with us for a year and 3 months and counting.

Since she is a native from the mountains, me and my husband need to constantly teach, remind and instruct her on the proper ways how things must be done at home. At times, I choose not to speak anymore cause I don't want to say words that might hurt her ego whenever she commits tresses I dislike her doing at home or whenever she omits instructions given to her. Well, I too have disregarded duties at work and with my sidelines. I just have to understand and bear in mind that not all people are perfect to get a job well done. Maybe too, my house helper wasn't able to finish her 5th grade due to unstable finances. I remember the day when she was brought by her father to my parents saying, "Bahalag walay sweldo pastor, ma'am basta lang makakaon ako anak" (It doesn't matter if she'll receive salary or not as long as she can eat three times a day.) How hard! Their family was one of the tribal people in Talakag, Bukidnon who were ministered by loving missionaries from Australia several years ago. The father was one of the trained workers of my father and some pastors from the District to work in their small community as exhorter and lay workers in behalf of course of our Heavenly Father. And just last June 2010, me and my husband decided to let our house helper enroll in Sunday classes conducted by the Philippine government to which she gladly responded to. Since the program is for free, I just bought her school materials she'll need, paid her ID card and uniform fees and with her monthly salary at home, I believe she's using it to buy herself stuff which she deserves after all her hard works. I pray my household will be a blessing to her and to all of those who ask our help and assistance like what my parents and my husband's parents did and are still doing with people who are in dire need in terms of finances (as long as we can) and emotional dealings and the main course - in prayers and spiritual company.

My husband and I have our own employers we work for. In our dictionary: employers are bosses, employees are the workers and the servants. Employer to employee relationship and vice versa works if and only there is good communication, harmony, understanding and rules being followed and traits that will strongly support the line. Same as with me and my house helper. I seldom trust people with my belongings, with confidential issues and with my family. So I see to it, whoever I entrust my precious things and precious ones to, he/she must be worth it.

A Song to Share

This is a song performed by Rebecca St. James. I've first heard this six years ago and sure thing, the song speaks of boldness, repentance, acceptance & rising again from falling hard from the mishaps of life..


GO and Sin No More


I've sinned, come on my knees

For I'm not worthy of Your love
How could You die for me
Such grace can only come from God

Oh Lord, You search and You know me
You see me inside out
God, You alone can forgive me
Erase my fear and my doubt
Father, You pick me up
I feel like a child in Your arms
I don't deserve this love,
but I hear Your voice, Lord Jesus

CHORUS: 
Go and sin no more
He said "I will not condemn you,
I'll forgive and I'll forget it all
Go and sin no more
My child, let me remind you it
is I who'll lead and guide you as you go"

You are my purpose - You are the reason that I live
I want to be like You - Help me to love and to forgive
God, let me not be distracted
Lord, help me focus on You
Keep sin from ruling my life, Lord - make me holy and pure
Father, You pick me up - I feel like a child in Your arms
I don't deserve this love but, I hear Your voice Lord, Jesus

CHORUS

Wipe, wipe away
Take, take away
Break, break away
Fill my life, make it right
Father, help me, Father, help me go

CHORUS

He said "I will not condemn you, no 

Go and sin no more
My child let me remind you it is I
who'll lead and guide you as you go"

I've sinned, come on my knees, how could You die for me
You search my heart - know my thoughts
See me inside out and all throughout me
You alone can forgive me
You always pick me up - like a child in Your arms
I could stay with Your forever here.

Amen! Thank You, Lord for the awesome and unconditional love You have for me. You are indeed my ever-loving God.

Utang Ko Ito

Debt is that which is owed; usually referencing assets owed, but the term can also cover moral obligations and other interactions not requiring money (Wikipedia). As far as my mind could grasp & reach, the term debt comes in hand with the word borrowed.

As per The U.S National Debt Clock the outstanding public debt of the U.S Nation as of January 9, 2011 at 8:10:44 AM (GMT) is $14, 022, 105, 385, 979.23 and their National Debt has continued to increase an average of $4.18 billion per day since September 28, 2007!  The U.S as the center of trade & industry, commerce & somewhat all – knowing they have a debt this big, what should I think then about the debt status of my country, the Philippines?

Setting aside the issue of my country and the U.S’ debts, I’d like to reflect on my own debt – yes, I’m talking about my owed things. Thankfully, in my two years of being married to my wonderful husband, we didn't incur much of this word. With an honest heart and tongue, the day we were married by a pastor & also our friend, we didn't receive any gift. The day before our wedding day, I, my husband and his father went to Bukidnon (my hometown) to join my family & relatives, butchered two goats for dinner and went back to the city after sleeping there for one night. The next day, there were only ten heads who witnessed our very simple ceremony. After that, my father gave me 1, 000 PhP and my father-in law handed me 3, 000 PhP. I had 1, 000 Php left in my wallet. And that was all. The following day, I paid our house cashier 5, 500 PhP for our room rent and for our food. I had to withdraw another 500 Php from my ATM card to cover another 500 bucks. We started from ALMOST nothing. Our things were all basic: in the kitchen, for our bed, to our clothes.

But our God is not blind. After I gave birth to our daughter, my father had given me his rights of his bought lot just within the city to whatever use or purpose I see will benefit me and my new family. I passed it on to my husband, Rex to which he then made an action. Within two months from my notice to him, we were then building our first humble dwelling. I was always grumbling and complaining to my husband why he went immediately with his plan of building our first house in such a kind of place! Later, I soon came to realize the advantages of having our house (simple & quiet) and learned how to be grateful. Having this small house costed us 80, 000 – 90, 000 Php. The initial part of this amount came from my husband’s money he earned when he was still single. A sum of 20, 000 PhP was borrowed from my sister-in law Ate Ody and her husband Kuya Reg (thanks to both of you, allowing us to use a part of your means so we could start over). Other parts of the whole amount were being handed, offered and extended to us by our parents, my brother-in law Ralph, Nathan a very close friend of ours, some of Rex’s friends and from our salaries and small earnings. Indeed, God is always at help and of assistance.

Consequences rise anytime without giving warning. But we are always grateful we surpassed them all with arms wide open for God’s pruning of our marriage. I too, myself was and is learning to accept God’s tests on me and in my marriage while giving me blessings on the other side. Such a great and kindhearted God. And there will be more consequences coming we need to get through. 

Borrowing money/things from people, banks, institutions and among others entails obligations & responsibilities and number one is to RETURN what was borrowed, in exact amount, shape, quantity and form or with interests. I was just grateful my credit card (I was an extension of my Aunt Nel’s credit account with a bank) got lost a month before it will expire. So, I wasn’t anymore tempted to ask my aunt to still include mine if ever she’ll renew her credit line. That was the end of that card account. I have two remaining cards but one is a debit and the other one is savings so I don't have anything to swipe whenever my urge of extravagant and unnecessary spending comes to my mind for I can't afford to spend unwisely what I had spared and saved. ^_^

Study shows today that most of the people within the middle class to the higher class go shopping using credit cards. Even the ones who shop online also use the same kind of method. I was taught by my parents to pay cash whenever I want to purchase something. It’s still good to pay in cash. Debt/Credit Experts have this line: Do not buy when you don’t have cash. If you have cards, better leave them at home before going out.

Let’s flip the other side of the coin. How about if we talk about the debt that had cost and took Jesus Christ’s life on the cross? It ain’t Jesus’ debt, it’s my debt.  I wonder if I could ever pay for it. I was meditating on this children’s song a few days ago while munching on some bananas:

He paid a debt He did not owe

I owe a debt I could not pay

I needed someone to wash my sins away

And now I sing a brand new song

Amazing grace

Christ Jesus paid a debt that I could NEVER pay.

True, I could never ever pay the debt which Christ paid on the cross for me. I only had one life, and it was spared because He sacrificed Himself so I will be saved. I can pay the money I owed but I can never do nor redo what Jesus did for me on Calvary.

Painstaking Death

When I went home in Bukidnon to my immediate family with my husband & our daughter to spend our Christmas break from work, I was greeted with the news of the death of my well-known grandfathers, two of them. I remember last year, within the months of August to October some of my close-related relatives (uncles & grandparents) also passed away. Almost eight hours after the signal of the New Year (2011), for another time, another lolo of mine went with the Lord. And when I got back in the city yesterday from my long rest, I received a text from a friend and an office mate that a co-former agent of ours had died and was buried last Friday.

I just can’t believe what I’ve heard about my once co-officemate whom I had previous talks & lots of laughter with. For my uncles & grandparents, some of them have body illness complications & some were already too old, around 90 something of age. As I was inhaling the news, I was also imagining my friend’s face inside his last bed or I’d say his final room on earth. And, I can’t help but to imagine my own self inside a coffin!

Just an hour ago I blurted this question to my husband, “What’s the feeling of being dead?” to which he answered bluntly, “I can’t answer that question of yours.” There were several news on the media tolling about people who came out or woke up from their deaths! I’d sometimes ask my father (who’s a minister) about these. His answer, “Observe & discern if those people were telling lies or if they were telling true stories.” Yes I can but how will I know? I’m not the one in their shoes.

The word death in the Illustrated Thesaurus is related to ruin, extermination, dying and decease. My maternal grandmother (to whom I was very close to) died when I was nine years old from an accident. She fell from the stairs; her head hit the sharp edge of the last flight and hemorrhaged, which caused her sudden death. I was with her that night; we were sleeping on the second floor of their house. That was December 29, 1995. Just two days before 1996 came in. I was fondly called lola’s child for I was sticking with her more than my own mother when my Lola Elena was still alive.

Death. I believe is the end of us humans here on Earth. The Bible says to dust man will return for he is made from dust. Our physical bodies were granted to us so we could breathe & live & were being gifted & given to us so we could do various activities which were also designed for it. Our heads, our hands, our feet were made from dust. The first man was formed from earth (Genesis). To Earth Adam returned. And so for us.

Now, I can imagine myself – dead. But not yet, not now. But, I’ll never know when my time is. What day the Lord will get back this life He had given me. I’ll never know. No one will know. The Bible says, To live is Christ and to die is gain. I believe we’ll gain when we do favors for Him when we are still breathing. I still can’t express thoroughly what I’m feeling & what I have in mind as of this moment. I know I’m grieving. To those people, who were already dead, I’m not sure if you can read this post I made. But, I ask each one of you, wherever you may be, please, pray for us still living on Earth. We don’t have any idea what things are going to happen when we’ll be the ones who’ll be dead.

My prayer is that may the Lord guide me to live according to His words in the next hours of my life, to forgive me from all my mistakes & the likes, to teach me what to do next so I will live like Christ while I’m still alive. 

Faithfully

If God weren't there for me, I wouldn’t be here now writing this post. If God didn’t send His only begotten Son to die for me on the cross, I’d never be with my husband building a home. If God didn’t remain faithful to me, I might’ve committed suicide years ago. These are “what ifs” but these prove the fact that God is working in my life from the day I was conceived in my mother’s womb up to this day and as a song tells, “He knows each and every one of us long before we were formed.”

Each story in the Bible tells what God has done to its characters. Even the renowned parables found in the book of Proverbs speak of wisdom which we believe all came from God.

 Some time in my 24 year of existence, it came to my mind to wonder if God was just an illusion. Is He only a make-up figure formed by the Bible? Is He only a living person whom the writers of the books idolized and they would like to pass their beliefs from generation to generation? Is He really true? Is God really there?

Atheists would say, “How can these so called-Christians believe and pray to this God whom they couldn’t see?”, “How could they be so devoted when all they know about their God only came from this book which they refer to as their Bible?”.

Philippines is one of the Christian countries and was recognized for its account of having different denominations from all over the world. So, clearly in words and in print that not only me, not only my family, friends and relatives believe that there really is a God. It may be in different religions, God may be called in varying names but it all goes thru a narrow road leading to one creditor – still, God.

The heart is the one who’s responsible for a man’s emotions & feelings. Yet, it is one of the most possible entry of infections same as our minds or brains. What this world is giving us affects what we think, what we feel and what we do. When I reached my age of having the capacity to understand bits and pieces of life; God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son and the Holy Spirit is already instilled in my mind, in my heart and in my whole being.  This is not because my parents were Christians, not because I’m a pastor’s kid and it’s already beforehand and because I grew up with people who believed in God, not because I need to follow what was the belief of my family. The sole thing is my faith that God truly exists. If there is no God, there’s nobody writing this.

Do Not Put this Joke on Me

Sinabi  mo pa. Hindi nga tlaga biro ang maging anak ng pastor. Alagad ng Dios at ng simbahan ang ama/ina mo. Lahat ng mata ng miyembro ng simbahan nakatingin sayo. Pag dami mo achievements may napapahanga, meron ding iba sasabihing, ‘anak kasi ng pastor kaya magaling.’ Pag may mali ka ika’y pinag-uusapan na, sasabihin na ‘anak siya ng pastor, bakit ganon ang ginawa niya? Dapat alam niya ano ang tama at ano ang mali.” Tama ba naman yon? Ikaw yata ginagawa nilang center of attraction? O center of ----?

I didn't post this to raise an issue. I’d like to give two thumbs up to my fellow Ministers’ Kids/Pastors’ Kids all over the world. I may not have met each one of you but I believe we share the same kind of sentiments of why we were being treated differently yet very grateful that we are the instruments used by our God to help our parents in ministering unto others.

I am the first-born of a pastor-teacher couple. My mother had given up her teaching profession to be at full-support to his husband, my father, who at that time was being destined from one place to another to pioneer churches. Before I turned two, my father was then set to host the Mother Church of the whole wide-Bukidnon Assembly of God at Kalilangan. The said place is also my mother’s home town so we didn't have a hard time adjusting with the environment and with the people because we were almost all blood-related. Together with my parents & my two younger brothers; we settled, matured & grew up within the portal of the church. I didn't feel obliged but I've been mandated to be always at hand whenever there were activities and events. It’s as if my presence was a must when church affairs were being presented. I was expected to be the leader of those within my age bracket; I was also the one representing my batch and even the juniors and that I must be mindful and always alert of the good conducts of those who were leading ahead of me for me to follow. Well, I guess, and also believe, it was my ‘function’.

Being a pastor’s kid is my privilege, I’d say. I am very privileged to be a part of the continuous works of the Lord Almighty who uses people like my parents & my family to spread His word & to lead His herds. I remember I’ve had always stuck in my head that not all kids have the chance to be called and tagged a ‘PK’ or an ‘MK’. A few were chosen. And, it’s not that easy as some people think it is. Many years ago I read a card given to my father from a visiting Bible student in our church. There was her line saying, “…I pray that God will strengthen your kids as they grow up especially that all eyes were preying on pastors’ kids like us. It’ll be hard at times.” The letter-sender is a pastor's kid too.

Some people think ministers’ kids must come to perfection. That mistakes must be minimal. Or should I say, there should be no mistakes. These people can’t be blamed for they look to the first family of the church as examples, models and next to God. I would like to say that pastors’ kids are not exempted from the Earth’s revolving around the sun. We are like some kids over the streets and kids strolling in the park. We eat same foods as other kids have on their tables; we dress like other kids to go to school and to attend Sunday schools. We ain’t that ‘somebody’ because we are all of the same kind. Yes, we are expected to behave in such a manner that we are cloned to, but to judge us all the way because of our personal faults, I think is irrational and unfair.

On different matters, pastors’ kids are not (all) born rich. My family’s finds all started with my father’s church honorarium, love gifts & offerings and those which were handed to us personally by church members who have seen our needs. Not all churches could give their pastors a wealthy life to live with. It’s a general knowledge that ministers and pastors live within the means of the church and its members. My father was & is doing sidelines (farming, selling, sewing and etc.) to cover up our finances in able to send me and my brothers to school. His honorarium alone would just be solely enough for food on our table. It really grips my heart whenever we have pastors with families visiting us who seldom see better food and clothes inside their homes. Their kids are being forced to work instead of having education because their parents can’t afford to pay for it. Ang iba napapariwara kasi hindi matugunan ng mga magulang nila ang mga demand at gusto nila sa buhay (which I believe is not a valid reason at all para magkaganon sila). When I see a pastor’s daughter having the same body size like mine or smaller, the next thing I’d do is to open my closet and choose among my clothes and shoes which ones I'm willing and glad to give. It still crumples my inner self when I see smiles appearing on the faces of these less fortunate pastors and their families upon receiving help and assistance from people who feel for them. Yes, prayer is the best gift we can give to a person for that person to be blessed. But, let’s be honest with ourselves, without money and material things – one CANNOT survive in this kind of world. Our physical body is God’s temple; it is the dwelling of our soul. Let’s not allow Satan (poverty) to diminish what was being given to us to take care of.

BODY and SOUL should be given priority, it applies to everyone. All pastors’ kids are STILL human. None of them is GOD. Let’s not pinpoint. Every PK or MK has her/his own life. He or she is also prone to stumble while running & walking for life and for God.

Facing My Critics

Living in this world won’t be complete without people tailing your back, tagging there selves intently in your life to nag, to give out vicious feedback about what you did and said and to satisfy their egos by just simply letting you feel you’re being unwanted. Others do it the right way, criticizing to help and reconstruct what was being made and done in ways they don’t approve or they don’t believe is correct. To criticize is to correct, not to destruct. Criticism could be treated one way or another. It may be hard to get along with some people who wish to be a part of your world by insinuating things you had omitted.

Being human with many ups and downs in life, I had tasted sumptuous criticisms from people who saw me incomplete, a mess and not in shape. A few were nice and slow to voice-over and gave reviews and mostly (I say) concentrated on where ‘they think’ I screwed up which made me irate and uncomfortable with them. Constructive criticism should be helpful, does not insinuate and does not insult. Destructive and negative knocker is not a bright idea when one opts to lend a hand by saying hurtful things in an analyzing and nice manner.

Let’s find out how Jesus dealt with conflict when He was on Earth.

*Jesus loved people. “Jesus tried to please those whom He came in contact but, He didn’t try to please in every way. He wouldn’t go with them into evil.” It’s hard to please everybody and we cannot please everybody. Each single person has his/her own standards and one cannot do all the demands and desire of all people - alone.

*Jesus learned the hard lesson of silence and patient endurance. Persecutors are ugly, but Christianity loses when a Christian turns ugly in response. In Matthew 5 Jesus said “Love your enemies. Do well to those who hate you.” I recall the days when I felt I was abused and maltreated by sour words. I had wanted to give them a duel even a dogfight but I chose not to. It’s like, better be silent than to lose control and give way to what Satan desires – hostility and unkindness. I contained myself and prayed. Later, it all went good.

               
“When you refuse to fight with the weapons of your attackers, it seems like shameful defeat to the onlooking world. But the onlooking Christ wipes a tear-trickle from the corner of His eyes and smile for triumph.” Hayaan mo silang magalit sayo, kamuhian ka, i-condemn ka. Huwag kang papatol kasi mas lalaki yung gulo. Let your silence do the talking and let God work in ways and the rest.

*Jesus prayed for His persecutors. Again in Matthew 5 He commands “Pray for those who persecute you.” He practiced what He preached. “Father, forgive them” He gasped between spasms of crucifixion pain (Luke 23:34). The Deacon Stephen, Jesus’ follower cried in Acts 7:60 as football-size stones slammed into His body “Lord! Do not hold this sin against them.” What an act! An act of kindness, an act of consideration, an act of love, an act of being Godly, an act of being a true Christian.

               
I had trouble doing this for people who got me wounded, for those who had hurt me and humiliated me but as I digest the command of Christ I learned how to pray for them.

             

I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. -Booker T. Washington